Esquire (1-year auto-renewal)

The cover on my last issue featured Sofia Vergara in Agent Provocateur's black lingerie and I still didn't bother to renew my subscription. It was too little, too late for a magazine that initially drew my interest as I smarter alternative to Maxim and a more coffee-table friendly alternative to Playboy. Alas, after a one-year subscription, Esquire failed to capture me.

I purchased my Esquire subscription with the same expectations I had for GQ, magazines known more for their abundant advertisements and cologne samples than for an unique, interesting take on men's interests. Esquire pushes well beyond my limits. The April 2012 edition (my last) makes a perfect example. The table of contents appears on page 25; advertisements packed between it and the cover:

Bvlgari

Giorgio Armani

Ermenegildo Zegna

Dolce & Gabbana

Calvin Klein

Woodford Reserve

Lincs DC & Co

Newport Beach Film Festival

Hugo Boss

Luminox

Moontower Comedy & Oddity Fest

Buick

That's 24 pages of advertisements before you reach the first editorial copy. And if you think that's an unfair representation, let me share that the next 20 pages includes ads for JC Penny, Tommy Hilfiger, Triumph, Canali, Salvatore Ferragamo, Ford, Breitling, Hickey Freeman, Gucci and Citibank. Within the next 20 pages, there are two more pages thinly spread with a table of contents, a staff listing, and only four pages of content, one of which carries the staff listing jump.

So, in the first 45 pages of Esquire, there are less than four pages of actual content.

Only one article, "Miracle" by Craig Davidson, was of the quality that I'd come to expect from Esquire. The nine-page piece (two pages serve as bloated title art) explores the medical advancements of synthetic hormones to delay age-related conditions.

The Sofia Vergara cover garners two thumbs up from me. However, only three more pictures of her appear in the magazine. Three! That's reason enough to fire an editor, maybe a couple. I can only take so many pictures of shaggy, bearded, brooding men hawking shoes, watches and cologne. If you are going to put Sofia Vergara on the cover, at least have the decency to treat your readers to a longer layout, at least a half dozen pages.

What's left is a choppy, increasingly juvenile collection of short articles and humor that illustrates how much Maxim and the other Laddies infected the entire men's magazine industry. The April 2012 edition included these one-page, puddle skippers:

Levi's made and crafted

Mad Men's fifth season

New books by Stephen King and John Grisham

How picky are sperm banks?

Keyboard shortcuts we need

In summary, Esquire is at the 1977 Elvis stage of life. I look back on the old issues with the same fondness I once held for Men's Health, Playboy and GQ. For a magazine approaching its 80th anniversary, Esquire needs some of those synthetic hormones to ward off its bloated visage and marked decline in quality features. Someone forgot being entertaining and smart are not mutually exclusive. Simply, today's Esquire is shallow and Maxim-esque.

Rating: Two stars.

In their memorable October 2008 issue, Esquire celebrated their 75th anniversary. To commemorate the event they published an experimental limited-edition of the issue that featured something called electronic ink, with moving words and flashing images. My copy wasn't one of the lucky ones, but it was proof that this venerable publication wasn't behind the times.

This had been a magazine that I had previously bought the occasional issue to read in airport terminals while traveling, or in lobbies while waiting to keep an appointment. Had often thought about subscribing, but for one reason or another hadn't done it. I subscribed during one of those opportunities here on Amazon when the price was too good to pass up, and am glad that I did.

The magazine: their 200-page December 2008 issue had the expected plethora of ads, but also had some excellent recipes for chili, of all things, along with an amazingly creative gift guide. There was an interesting article about how Jaguar had been sold by Ford to India's Tata Motors and the effect that it would have on that carmaker. The issue also celebrated the innovators who are leading the way to a better world for all of us.

The March 2009 issue listed the top fifty songs that we should be listening to, and the diversity of their choices was surprising. No spoilers here; just look it up, even online, as they have a great Web presence to compliment their written articles. They offered suggestions on how we could create and maintain a better, greener environment, not just in a philosophical sense but with some innovative product suggestions as well. From that article I now know about Dr. Bronner's Castile Soap, a 100% organic product that has been around since WW II. We learn something new every day.

I have no problem with their ads, as here in this digital age they contribute to keeping the cost of this publication down. Their articles are tight and concise, often filled with more humor than one might expect from a magazine that's been around for so long.

Check the deals here. It's as good as it was in your father's or grandfather's day, only far more up to date... and actually even better.

Buy Esquire (1-year auto-renewal) Now

I first picked up a copy of Esquire a few years back at an airport, read it cover to cover to the flight, and haven't looked back since. It is a great magazine for men who are past the frat boy humor stage of their lives and are looking for something with more substance. The magazine's writers are top notch and regular segments like Answer Fella, Funny* Joke From A Beautiful Woman, and a sex column written by Stacy Grenrock Woods are always fun to read. The magazine regularly contains interesting articles on cocktails and recipes, restaurants and bars, movies and entertainment, sports and US and world news. And of course interviews with gorgeous and intelligent women, including a highly creative interview of Halle Berry by Tom Chiarella where Miss Berry writes the article and Mr. Chiarella annotates it. This is just one example of Esquire's creative approach to journalism. Sure, The Sexiest Woman Alive (where the woman so annointed is revealed piece by piece in different issues) may be tired (and to some, sexist), and some of the writing gets a little too tongue-in-cheek at times, but I have not yet found another men's magazine for which I would pay for a subscription.

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Each issue of Esquire is like this: 30 pages of ads for expensive clothing, cars, cologne, and stuff like that before you even get to the table of contents. Then, in no particular order, you have an article about a celebrity you have absolutely no interest in, a feature about some clothing company or gadgets or something like that that you think is a really long ad (but isn't. Well, not officially.), a pictorial of some female celebrity you have never heard of, and one or two readable articles (these usually come in the form of short fiction or humor). Oh, and a lot more ads.

If you're thinking about subscribing to this because it's cheap and you just want something to read on the toilet or whatever, don't do that to yourself. Just spend a few extra dollars and subscribe to Mental Floss. If you want to have forgettable pop culture rammed down your throat and ads for all the latest gadgets and clothing so you can buy all that stuff so then when people come over to your swingin' secret agent pad they can look at your stuff and go "Damn, this guy's as cool as the people in magazine ads," then you should totally subscribe to this.

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This is not just a magazine for men. I'm a woman and I enjoy the articles in this magazine. I recently read an article about a foreign journalist who wrote about a serial murderer who may have been the murderer himself. That was fascinating. There are also really good in-depth interviews of interesting men. I've also found good leads for books to read, music to listen to and movies to watch. My husband has me buy his clothes so even all the clothing ads are not wasted on me. I am enjoying ESQUIRE a lot more than most women's magazines.

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